Several years ago, I had a wild and woolly banter with a male friend of mine who had been a drug addict, love addict, sex addict, and all-around relationship addict. We had an enlightening conversation concluding that in some ways we all have some kind of “addiction” held captive in our psyche – an addiction that is also linked to pain in some way or another and although the pain is crippling, we seem to keep searching for it – even willing to recreate it.

His experience with relationships and addictions connected so perfectly to the research and work I have been doing for many years in the pre and perinatal period of a baby’s development. I excitedly shared with my friend the work that I do in this arena of birth and what I have learned in relation to this knowing. 

And it is what I want to share with all of you, my blog readers – in the most conceptually accessible way. It is that we are all born with a sense of who we are firstly from our prenatal experience and secondly from our birth experience. Everything our mothers thought, felt, and experienced during pregnancy has had an impact on our development via the neurological vibrational signals and patterning that influences our brain circuitry. Mothers and babies are a closely pulsing symbiotic field of influences that marinate and interchange sensory information on a second by second basis.

In layman’s terms, if the maternal environment has ongoing stresses, these stress fields have a marked impact on a baby’s experience in utero (scientifically verified by Joseph Chilton Pearce). This has been noted (for e.g.) as a baby with a larger reptilian brain which essentially shows an imprint of flight, fight, freeze, collapse built into the foundations of its nervous system. Contrary to this, a calm maternal environment, and hence a calmer mother, calmer baby, results in a baby born with a larger neocortex.

What exactly does this mean?

Explicitly, how we treat mothers whilst their babies are growing in utero, and then how she feels about this said treatment – in terms of to her thoughts, feelings, emotional output, and sense of the world – has a direct and potent influence on the formation of her baby’s brain and heart development that encompasses its psychological, spiritual, emotional and energetic awareness of the world around!! Yes, that’s right – a mother’s emotional state combined with the chemical and hormonal output can determine her babies in utero experiences. Are they optimal, ambivalent, fearful, connected, or disconnected? 

Does the world understand how HUGE a revelation this is? This understanding always astounds me as I delve further into the rabbit hole. Why? Because it can be life-changing (on a spiritual evolution level) for all of humanity!! The way in which we treat and care for mothers has a colossal knock-on effect as it directly impresses upon our in utero experiences and results in a huge impact on the evolution or neglect of future human beings.

Just imagine the outcome of humans having the potential for love to be imprinted in utero and carried into birth as a marker for world peace! This knowledge and the implementation of it through the creation of conscious sacred birth environments could no doubt HEAL the planet! With dedicated practices, centred on deeply caring about the mother/baby dyad, we could change our species for the better – WOW!

How and why is this so?

It is important that we have the connection to our mother laid down in the most optimal neurological patterning through pregnancy, the birth process, and immediately after birth because our experience of peace, love, connection, emotional safety, and compassion throughout life is a result of this connection. In utero, the opportunity to lay the human template for a baby’s life is available moment by moment. Then both mother and baby’s first awakening Earthside in the first hour (or Holy Hour) after birth continues developing and refining this interpretation and design. 

Did you know that there are actually 9 stages we need to move through once born, to trigger, switch on, and set this life-affirming imprint? The question is do we as a global community truly understand the significance of these precious building blocks? If we do, is it even respected? Or is it treated with little or no regard for the mother and baby’s lifelong health and wellbeing? If the birthing process is unnecessarily severed and/or interrupted, how does this have a detrimental effect on crucial bonding and attachment that continues well into childhood and beyond?

When nerve pathways are functionally laid down, the connection between the hemispheres of a baby’s brain will initiate vital interactions in order to switch on the many pathways available for optimal living and relational loving. In fact, I say that these multi highways switch on our “humanness” (and perhaps our humane-ness), the places where we internalize empathy.

These activations found in our physiology and biology, that I call essential primal drivers influence how the sensory interconnected perceptions of smell, touch, taste, hearing, sight, heart space get interwoven in a blanket of protection for physical and emotional safety. We implicitly learn what feels good, right, available to us in each moment and trust in nature’s nectar (the love hormone Oxytocin) to turn on the lights of the gifts of a merging human consciousness.

And conversely, if this has been less than harmonious or violently neglected or indeed switched off, we form within the intricacies of our brain circuitry a different kind of reality. The neurological experience immediately after birth can switch on survival mode – the need for self-protection and self-preservation. This state of being contributes to a feeling of implosion where our biological needs for warmth, security, and attachment are not met. A host of pathological and psychological lacks get vibrationally and energetically embedded in a distressed baby as well as a distressed mother. 

We can say then that if these neurological imprints are not set as nature intended, brain neurons and synapses may go haywire or not fire at all, and in fact, they can actually break off with no connections occurring. If this persists into the first years of a baby’s life and beyond, a snowball effect occurs that leans deeper into the childhood experience of something amiss in life that is internalised as emotions of shame, anxiety, grief, sadness, and even depression. 

So, going back to the opening of my blog; what does this have to do with my friend’s addictions? Well, being armed with a pre and perinatal understanding can explain some of our codependent and repetitive behaviours that may cause these social, sexual, and relational addictions. Addictions that don’t serve our highest form of self-love because of our early imprints where we may not believe we are loveable. Not feeling loveable can undermine our ability to think rationally and feel accepted.

Read PART 2 where I explain more about this topic!


Mamaste 🙏🏻



*Note – This is a revised blog post from 2014


Do you need support and guidance in your pregnancy and birthing journey? Check out my online birth preparation program EmbodyBirth™. Connect to your baby and join a community of women who have experienced the liberating qualities of birth!